No quite so alone

Are you willing to look silly?

Do you spend time worried about what others thing of you?

What value are you keeping hidden?

 

 

Vulnerability moment of admission: I spend quite a bit of time worried what others may think. I am not someone who holds the "Dance like no one is watching" approach to life most of the time.

 

 

 

My daughter and I recently took a trip to the local zoo. We happened to pick a day when many area schools and daycares were there on field trips. There was a seriously disproportionate number of kids to adults walking around the zoo.    There were plenty of adults looking overwhelmed and frazzled while they  worked to corral the kids bouncing from exhibit to exhibit.  There were also a handful of adults actively engaging with the kids and getting caught up in the excitement the kids were feeling of seeing the bears swimming, the tortoises sunning , and the capybara running.

 

The contrast was really clear for me looking on from the outside. The adults generally fell into two categories, those choosing to focus on the responsibility and to-do list of keeping the field trip on schedule and controlled vs. the adults choosing to focus on the enjoyment and experience, participating in the wonder of the moment. 

 

How quickly do we get lost in our daily to-do lists rather than enjoying the wonder of the moment?

 





The most eye-opening experience was when we happened across a little girl crying at the edge of the lion exhibit. She stood there all alone as people walked by. Children and adults alike turned and looked at her but no one approached her or asked if she was okay. They simply continued on about their zoo excursion and onto the next animal.

 

I asked her if she was okay and she shook her head, started to cry louder, and said she didn't know where her class was. I told her that it was okay, that we would find them. Still people walking by were looking, even turning their heads all the way around to watch as they continued to walk past. No one else offered assistance or even asked if they could help. 

 

Eventually we found her group, who had walked on to the next exhibit without noticing they'd left someone behind.   No one, even within her group, asked her if she was okay or even acknowledged that she had felt lost.

 

Often times people fail to take action because of the perception that someone else will act or they are worried 

•  Worried whether someone will misinterpret their offer of assistance and take it the wrong way. 
• Worried that they aren't the right one to assist, that they may not have the full knowledge or skill needed to come to a resolution.  
• Worried they won't know what to say to make it better.
• Worried they may just make it worse.
• Worried they're not enough.

When we let those worries stop us from asking if someone is okay or if they need help we are shortchanging ourselves and others. We are keeping ourselves small and undermining our capabilities. We each have amazing gifts to share with the world, not the least of which is compassion and understanding.

 

Be willing to open yourself to vulnerability and offer assistance, a smile, or a kind word to those who come across your path. Step into the power you possess to bring light into another's journey. In that light there is connectedness, encouragement, and growth...a reminder that we aren't quite so alone.

 

Be willing to be vulnerable.

 

💗 ~S

You can find me on Facebook: @AVOReflections





Life as a fat girl

 

Are you feeling defined by a single characteristic or quality?

What internal story are you telling yourself?

Who are you when no one is looking?

 

 

 

 

Vulnerability moment of admission: Per conventional standards I am morbidly obese. 

 

For most of my adult life I have been overweight, ranging from a little chunky to downright obese.

 

• I know what it's like to go into a restaurant to be sat down and have to stop and think about what the best path through the other diners is.
• I know what it's like to wonder if a chair is going to hold me or if I'll fit between the arms
• I know what it's like to go shopping for clothes only to get frustrated that the options are either big and baggy (hello circus tent) or ill-fitting and uncomfortable.
• I know what it's like to hide behind the camera rather than risk hating the picture.
• I know what it's like to count calories, spend hours in a gym, restrict food choices and types, and see little to no results.
• I know discouragement and hurtful self talk.
• I know what it's like to feel like less
• less worthy of attention
• less capable of success
• less capable of action

 For far too long I've hidden. I've hidden within my size and let that be my defining feature.

 

I also know that I am far from alone in these understandings and experiences.

 

A little over a month ago I made a change and as part of this change I've  decided to recognize that I am more than the fat I carry.

 

I acknowledge and remind myself that I am

• A woman who is raising an AMAZING girl as a solo-parent
• Someone who can teach others
• Someone others depend on
• Someone who loves to laugh
• Someone with good intuition
• Someone who is worthy of attention
• Someone who is capable of action
• Someone who is capable of success
• A work in progress
• So much more than just the fat
• On a journey to better wellbeing

 

One month into my journey to better wellbeing and I have gotten rid of 20 pounds without calorie (or point) counting, without killing myself in a gym, without feeling hungry, and with better understanding of the nutrition my body really needs (and deserves!) 

 

 

 

While the weight loss is great, the things I am most excited about include:

• More energy
• Better moods
• Balanced hormones (as someone diagnosed with PCOS, this is such a huge blessing)
• My food now includes all of my necessary nutrition, vitamins, and minerals
• My nails are actually strong, healthy, and growing (as someone who has spent untold amounts of money and time in salons getting nail extension, this is AWESOME )

 

 

I am more than the fat.

 

 

💗 ~S



You can find me on Facebook: @AVOReflections

I started this blog WAY back in 2010. Honestly I was in a much different space than I am now. A lot has changed in those (almost) eight years but some things have stayed the same...

I’m still a mom. I’m still prone to overthinking. I’m still likely to doubt whether anyone is really interested in what I have to say. I’m still a Midwest girl. I still adore road trips, coffee shops, knitting, and deep conversations about the stuff that really matters. I’m still ferociously protective of those I love. I’m still doing the solo parenting gig.

So, what’s changed?

I’ve gotten serious about rediscovering my well-being. I homeschool my daughter (three years in, with a rising junior 😱.) I’ve decided to open myself up and risk vulnerability in the event that my words, experiences, and outlook can bring blessings to someone else.  I’ve moved out of the little-kid parenting and (well) into the teen years — no, I’m still not sure where all of those days went!

As this blog takes shape, I’m not really certain what it will become. My hope is that it really does become a place of blessing, understanding, and shared experience.

💗 ~S



You can find me on Facebook: @AVOReflections

Election ramblings...

It's election time again and once again I am astounded by  the entire process, good and bad.

 Recently President Obama visited Madison and held a rally on the Library mall of the UW campus. Politics aside (a bit hard to do considering the visit was soley a political move); however, just try to remove the politics and it really was one of those moments in time where my daughter can later tell her children and grandchildren about the day the president of the United States came to town and she saw Air Force One, the presidential motorcade (more than once), and heard the president speak (albeit from a very far distance).

"Just shut up and listen..." A Napa auto parts store employee's advice

Talk to just about any woman and she will probably have the impression that she is more likely to be treated differently by an automechanic than her male counterpart. In recent surveys almost half of the women polled felt that they were more likely to be charged more and receive pooer service than a man would have when visiting an auto mechanic.  In fact in a recent article one woman stated that her solution around this problem is to always take a male with her when she has to take her car in to be serviced.

--New chapter--

Guess it's about time I start this blog off.  Who knows, someone might find it interesting reading or it may just be cathartic for me--guess time will tell! :)

I can't guarantee what this blog will really entail and what may or may not make it in here although I'm betting it takes on a bit of my life as well as my thoughts on different things I come across.

How about a bit of introduction/background: As the "about me" states, I recently turned 30 (wasn't really that big of deal) and I'm a single mom. I did do the marriage thing which was followed by the divorce thing; however, my daughter was born of that situation so it was all worth it!

My daughter is my top priority and the reason I am where I am today. No, my lifestory doesn't include anything as dramatic as my daughter giving me a life-saving blood transfusion (if it did you think I'd just be blogging about it, that'd at least make for a good Lifetime movie! :P )--more so in her arrival I found a reason to make better choices and fight for things to better our lives. After my divorce I put myself through college, got my degree, graduated and within a month and a half found a position within my field, so now I am doing the single mom gig working full time.

That's me in a nutshell although admittedly there is definitely more to the story, but for now that's a good start to this new chapter...