Life as a fat girl

 

Are you feeling defined by a single characteristic or quality?

What internal story are you telling yourself?

Who are you when no one is looking?

 

 

 

 

Vulnerability moment of admission: Per conventional standards I am morbidly obese. 

 

For most of my adult life I have been overweight, ranging from a little chunky to downright obese.

 

• I know what it's like to go into a restaurant to be sat down and have to stop and think about what the best path through the other diners is.
• I know what it's like to wonder if a chair is going to hold me or if I'll fit between the arms
• I know what it's like to go shopping for clothes only to get frustrated that the options are either big and baggy (hello circus tent) or ill-fitting and uncomfortable.
• I know what it's like to hide behind the camera rather than risk hating the picture.
• I know what it's like to count calories, spend hours in a gym, restrict food choices and types, and see little to no results.
• I know discouragement and hurtful self talk.
• I know what it's like to feel like less
• less worthy of attention
• less capable of success
• less capable of action

 For far too long I've hidden. I've hidden within my size and let that be my defining feature.

 

I also know that I am far from alone in these understandings and experiences.

 

A little over a month ago I made a change and as part of this change I've  decided to recognize that I am more than the fat I carry.

 

I acknowledge and remind myself that I am

• A woman who is raising an AMAZING girl as a solo-parent
• Someone who can teach others
• Someone others depend on
• Someone who loves to laugh
• Someone with good intuition
• Someone who is worthy of attention
• Someone who is capable of action
• Someone who is capable of success
• A work in progress
• So much more than just the fat
• On a journey to better wellbeing

 

One month into my journey to better wellbeing and I have gotten rid of 20 pounds without calorie (or point) counting, without killing myself in a gym, without feeling hungry, and with better understanding of the nutrition my body really needs (and deserves!) 

 

 

 

While the weight loss is great, the things I am most excited about include:

• More energy
• Better moods
• Balanced hormones (as someone diagnosed with PCOS, this is such a huge blessing)
• My food now includes all of my necessary nutrition, vitamins, and minerals
• My nails are actually strong, healthy, and growing (as someone who has spent untold amounts of money and time in salons getting nail extension, this is AWESOME )

 

 

I am more than the fat.

 

 

💗 ~S



You can find me on Facebook: @AVOReflections